Tuesday, July 28, 2009

J.R.D Tata - we are, kinda are thinking of saluting you!

J.R.D Tata once said - "If I have any merit, it is getting along with individuals, according to their ways and characteristics...At times it involves suppressing yourself. It is painful but necessary...to be a leader you have got to lead human beings with affection."

Well, we at TeeCeeYes don't care for what the old man said. He has gone long ago from this world and he might have been one of the foundations for our company but nobody said we have to follow what he had said.

We will not suppress ourselves at all. Even in recession times, we will put our employees through utter misery. And we will not lead with affection. Damn, when we are not able to fill our coffers to the brim, how can we show any affection to our employees. They can leave when they want to.

This policy is a salutation to the great man - J.R.D Tata.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Thine PF are our own!

We have a NEW! policy! From today, you will retrieve all your earlier Provident Fund (from all your previous employments) and give it to us as salary! We know. We usually pay YOU salary. But we thought, why not play a game and have the roles exchanged for a month. This month, you will get all your PF and pay us - for being such a GOOD company! Damn, if you are grumbling, be thankful we have not fired you yet!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Health is wealth

In this new policy that we intend to propagate across all verticals, horizontals and business sectors, we have decided on a very healthy alternative for all our employees. We see that too many of our employees are unhealthy, fall sick, take leave from office and most of all - waste company resources due to their ill health. Our DumbAss initiative - one peculiar to our company (since it is full of dumbasses), decided why not provide a wonderful initiative for all our employees to work and become healthy at the same time.

From tomorrow, it is compulsory for all our employees to do a stint as Spiderman! Well, you will have to hang out of our lovely glass covered buildings and clean the windows. Not only does it enhance your health, it gives you a healthy dose of fear that can only be beat by the pink slip dangling at the other end of the rope.

Health is wealth. Or like how we at TeeCeeYes say - the employees health is our wealth!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Thou shalt bring thine own bottles

This is a simple rule to follow. Since we are saving and protecting the environment, we decided to do away with all breaks for our employees. Even though they are supposed to work for 10 hours, we have decided to cut down the break down to 45 minutes. Remember, during this time, you should manage to shit, piss, eat (not necessarily in that order) and drink water.

But in this policy, we are not talking about the lack of drinking water. We are telling you to bring your own bottles - so that you can take a leak in. No breaks!

The officially un-official blog for all TeeCeeYes policies

Well, TeeCeeYes as a company has decided to publish all its upcoming policies (with various inputs from you. Yes! You!) on this blog from here onwards. Due to the amazing reach of such a widely used platform, we thought it is best to reach our employees this way.

It saves us a lot of time and money to use Google this way.